Finding Leadership Mentors in Unlikely Places
You know that phrase, “It's all who you know,” is really true. I mean, think about it, you've probably known somebody in your life who has helped you get a job interview or set you up with the right person or given you a recommendation for a great restaurant – and it's all because of who you know. This saying also rings true when it comes to your own leadership development by way of mentorship.
Mentors are the stars that guide you, and when you find a really good one, it can be a huge catalyst for your career (and your life) as you grow into the leader, worker, or business owner that you want to be.
But how do you find a good mentor? Tune in to today’s episode to find out!
On this episode you’ll hear…
The breakdown of the numbers of mentorship programs in the top companies in the United States
How mentorship within organization is important and how it affects employee engagement and retention
What mentorship looked like in the past and how it has transformed into its current role (and why you should think bigger when looking for your own mentor)
The unlikely places Chaili has found her own leadership inspiration and how you can look for your own
Ready for more?
Listen in:
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** This is a raw, unedited transcript
Chaili Trentham 00:00
Did you know that phrase, it's all who you know, is really true. I mean, think about it, you've probably known somebody in your life who has helped you get a job interview or set you up with the right person or given you a recommendation for a great restaurant. And it's all because of who you know. Here's some stats that I want you to listen to. Did you know that 84% of us fortune 500 companies have mentoring programs. And it goes up actually, so 90% of us fortune 250 companies have mentoring programs. And it keeps going 96% of fortune 100 companies have mentoring programs and 100% of fortune 50 companies have mentoring programs. Notice anything. Here's the thing with those companies now. And now you do two is that mentorship matters? Who you know matters. And, in fact, we know from the research, that mentoring is not only important, but it's significant to organizations because it impacts employee engagement, development, and retention. And most mentees like close to all say that their experience with a mentor made a significant difference in their life and career. And so why wouldn't we want that? Here's the catch. Only 37% of professionals have a mentor. So honest question. Do you have a mentor? Yes, no, not in the season? Or? I did but then they moved away or I did but I changed companies or roles. That's it a common reason why somebody might not have a mentor? And if you answered yes, question number two, how many mentors do you have speaking into your life? In episode four of this podcast, I hit on how to find a mentor. And I want you to listen to it. Because I believe I truly believe that everyone should have a big gigantic constellation of people who they trust to show up. Provide wisdom, offer insight, challenge thinking, and speak truth when you need it. Mentors are the stars who guide you. So they'll listen to that. But that's the reason why. When I was eating a bowl of Jenny's ice cream last night, on my couch watching Netflix, I realized that we need to be talking here on the podcast about finding mentors, specifically finding mentors in unlikely places. And so here we are today talking about this. So I was thinking about this because I was scrolling through Instagram, while binge watching a show on Netflix. But I was scrolling through Instagram and seeing all of the great news that has been swirling around the last couple of days on Jacinda Ardern, the Prime Minister of New Zealand, who she's been on the news because of her resignation after six remarkable years in office. And so I was reading through what a lot of people were saying and reading through her resignation speech and really impacted by that. And at the same time watching a show on Netflix. And I'm watching this character who's a medical director at a big hospital, Max Goodwin of New Amsterdam, if you're also watching that show, thinking, wow, he's a great leader, right? So I have these two models of leadership in the moment. And then I'm thinking about other unlikely mentors, right, there's Brene Brown, who if you listen to this podcast, you likely know Brene Brown, but Brene is a brilliant qualitative researcher from Texas who stole the hearts of everyone through her writing and speaking and impacts so many people. And here's an unlikely mentor is a character talking to buzz in Pixar movie Lightyear, which also happens to be my younger son's favorite movie. I love some of the stuff as he says in the movie, it's an unlikely mentor. So here's the thing, a signature trait of mentorship is a relationship where wisdom, knowledge and influence is exchanged from one person to another. And so mentoring in organizations was traditionally that but it's drastically changed over time. It's become a more fluid process and isn't defined strictly by the supervisor to employee relationship. Nowadays, it's more reciprocal more meaningful, more expansive than that. And where it was once transactional, it's now about transformation. So when we begin to redefine where you have mentors in your life, who are providing learning and guidance, let's think bigger. So some more questions for you as you're listening who are leaders, you look up to in spaces outside of your current context. I found two brilliant models of leadership. Who were right in front of me while I was sitting on my couch last night, right? It's a non traditional approach to mentorship. I do admit that. But when we look at the definition of mentorship as being knowledge, wisdom and influence from one person to another, it's happening, right? So how can you gain access to certain leaders who are mentors in your life? Is it through books, letters, social media conferences, shows, where are the examples of leadership that you are gleaning insight from? I love a good Netflix, Netflix binge, obviously. And like I said, I'm currently and frequently watching New Amsterdam, on Netflix, count me in for a good medical drama. Hulu, I somehow missed Grey's Anatomy. But House is my jam, if anyone left has but like is that I'm frequently watching New Amsterdam and the show is about a team of department heads in a large public hospital. And I constantly find myself noting the brilliant and thoughtful writing. Whoever the writers were on this show for the medical director character Max Goodwin, like I mentioned, he leads with passion and motivation and has these inspiring speeches to his teams in the hallways and in the IDI. And he's always empowering his team to take ownership through their own leadership. He's often obviously faced with tough decisions in the show, and he invites innovation and team input. And I currently just watched an episode where he's finding obsolete roles within the hospital and helping those individuals not only own that their job may be obsolete, but then to explore their passion so that he can move them into more meaningful and impactful roles within the organization where they they can find more intrinsic motivation. And so to do that, he invites conversation and is asking questions and listening. And in that process, never is an employee fearful that they could be fired. And so it's this example of empathic leadership and innovative problem solving, driven by MIT motivation, and a commitment to mission and purpose, and I loved it. And so I realized that, wait a minute, as I've been watching the show, I've loved that character so much, because I constantly am getting these little nuggets of wisdom in the way that he leaves and carries himself. And that's good to have that model, right? Because I will never find myself leading in a hospital as a doctor, because I am not a doctor. Right? So who are the leaders you look up to in spaces outside of your current context? Because I think we have so much to learn when we look at leadership from a cross disciplinary approach. And follow up question, how do you gather that wisdom? Right? I said, Do you go to conferences? Is it social media? Is it books? Is it letters? So how do you gather that leadership wisdom from that, quote, unquote, mentor? Is that a mentor who you found through reading the books? And so do you reread their books? Do you memorize a quote? Do you revisit a clip or keep a journal to gather that wisdom, because one of the things about mentorship is that it's often defined by frequency in the relationship. So we have mentors who we meet with regularly or we have mentors who are it's built into a mentoring program, or it's on a recurring basis. Okay. And so when we're defining a mentorship relationship, that frequency, and timeline is a part of defining the relationship. And it looks a little different when these are mentors who don't have access to right when there may be public figures, or it's game from a non traditional source, like a character on a show. But here's the thing, I often revisit the Vulnerability TED Talk by Brene Brown from 2010. I watched that when it went viral. And it not only changed the way I lead in the moment, but it shifted the trajectory of my research in grad school. And it honestly led me to the path I'm still on today. And while I could probably repeat it verbatim at this point, hearing it from Brene. Like she has a mentor sitting across the table from me having a cup of coffee, and the brilliant way that she speaks, like your longtime friends, is exactly the motivation I need on Sundays. And so I pull up that TED talk and I rewatch it. So how are you gathering the wisdom of your non traditional mentors? And how do you integrate that wisdom into the way you lead? In it variation of wisdom is often reflection, which I talked about a lot, but reflecting on experiences, insight, knowledge, but then adding in the action component. And doing that in multiple iterations, right trial and error. And I think the leadership of Jacinda Ardern is an example of this, because in addressing her resignation, and she stated this, the only interesting angle that you will find is that after going on six years of some big challenges, I am human, politicians are human. And she said that, and then went on to say this, we give all that we can for as long as we can, and then it's time. And for me, it's time. And I read through that, and listen to that. And for me, reflecting on her words, I began thinking about her season as prime minister and six years of service, and that being one of the hardest jobs, right, leaving the country seems like a job that nobody would even want. And in watching her soundbites, over the years realized she has always been an example of honesty and integrity and her leadership for me. And she was authentic, and her leadership all the way down to her resignation, where she was setting boundaries to remain her best self. And she's finishing on a high note. And that's what a lot of people are talking about right now. And it's admirable, it's good leadership. And so as I was reflecting on that on my couch with the bowl of ice cream, I'm thinking next time I make a big decision, I hope to integrate that level of commitment to my values and my boundaries, and be that self aware for my own leadership. And so I'm trying to navigate and figure out ways to integrate that wisdom into the way that I lead. I'm not just letting it like reading these social media tributes to Jacinda Ardern, and are reading these articles about her leadership and then letting them wash over me. I'm really taking time to sit with them. So how are you integrating the wisdom from the mentors in your life into the way that you actively lead? So consider where you're looking for unlikely mentors. That's my challenge for you. They may be right in front of you, but a million miles away and that you will never be in an actual room with them or even know them. But wisdom contributes to your continued learning. And it opens up your wonder beyond your own lived experiences. Right? I heard a quote by Ralph Sokhna once that I love the larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder. It's, it's that concept this is that concept but with a dash of wisdom from a mentor approach when we invite in and really listen for more knowledge from the experiences of people around us. The longer the shoreline have their profound impact and we get to walk on the sand of that shoreline okay, that got a little motivationally like poster in your dentist office for a moment, but go look for your unlikely mentors, and listen, and let me know what you learn. Cheers