Brave Leadership Required
Welcome back to Coffee on Leadership. Today we are in week two of a three part series where I'm focusing on the framework I utilize behind the scenes called the ABCs of Leadership Development. Last week, we laid out authentic leadership, where the focus is very much on you as the leader. It's all about self awareness and personal development. So go back and listen.
But authenticity cannot live on its own, leaders have to then step out and be authentic leaders and that takes bravery.
So that's where we are tuning in today – brave leadership is about doing the right thing in hard circumstances. It's about the way you engage with the people and teams around you. It's about emotional awareness and intelligence that you can call upon. Authentic leadership is you and your personal leadership journey, the internal work, but brave leadership is the external journey. I frame it that it's the relationship with who you lead, and the impact you have with those who you lead. It's the interaction point, the engagement point, it's the vulnerable space that you get to step into. Ready to dive deeper? Let’s go.
In this episode…
What brave leadership can look like and why it’s required for any leadership journey
Choosing to buck the status quo, especially when it feels hard and a couple questions you can ask yourself to make decision making easier
How to show up as an emotionally intelligent leader and why this is a crucial step of brave leadership
Rumble starters and how you can use them to foster vulnerability and compassion with your team
Ready for more? Read this:
Listen in:
-
** This is a raw, unedited transcript
Chaili Trentham 00:00
First things first, thank you to everyone who was tuned back into coffee on leadership in the past couple of weeks, it means the world to me. And thank you for reaching out and letting me know what you're enjoying. So we're in a little three part series, where I'm focusing on the framework I utilize behind the scenes called the ABCs, of leadership development. And it really was my way of simply breaking down what I think it means to be an effective leader. And it's accessible in a way that we quickly run through three parts to your leadership. So last week, we laid out authentic leadership where the focus is very much on you as the leader. It's all about self awareness and personal development. So go back and listen. But the reality I mentioned last week, is that authenticity cannot live on its own. Leaders have to then step out and be authentic leaders. And that takes bravery. And that's where we are tuning in today. So brave leadership is about doing the right thing. In hard circumstances. It's about the way you engage with the people and teams around you. It's about emotional awareness and intelligence that you can call upon. And then the courage that you gather up to push back and call for more consideration of a more people first mindset, a more compassionate approach, a more empathic approach to your leadership. That's brave, authentic leadership is you and your personal leadership journey, the internal work, but brave leadership is the external journey. So I frame it that it's the relationship with who you lead, and the impact you have with those who you lead. It's the interaction point, the engagement point, it's the vulnerable space that you get to step into. So we're going to talk about the components have been brief. I have a friend who was leading in a fortune 100. org, and was absolutely crushing it still is, and on track to becoming the next and youngest VP of her department. And it's in a season when she had to make a really hard decision, one that tested her leadership. And so we were talking about how this decision was risky, because at the time, there were two options, she could, number one, make the decision that felt wrong to her, but maintained the status quo, it was the way things have always been. And so it would almost be expected of her to go with that decision number one. Or she could make decision number two, and do what felt right to her, but would surely still be hard and could potentially impact the trajectory trajectory of her team, her career, etc. So, two decision, two decisions, both hard. And I asked her what her team would think if she went with decision number one. And she said that her team would expect that because that's the way things have always been done. And when I asked her what they would think about option number two, she said, they would know that she acted in alignment with her values. So both decisions actually had some negative fallout that would accompany them, meaning both decisions were hard. There was no simple decision. But one decision decision number two allowed her to maintain her convictions and her integrity as a leader. And that is something that she held so dearly, to the way that she was approaching her career and her calling. So she went with decision number two. And her team's feedback was wildly supportive. She was a leader who took the brave step, and vulnerably guided her team through her decision process and came out on the other side with a more collaborative and more loyal team who trusted her more and knew that she would act consistently. now and in the future, when things were hard in alignment with her values. And that's meaningful, that level of leadership is scary. You might not be making big decisions like that, that carry that much weight like that right now, or maybe you are, but you have an opportunity to practice that level of alignment with your values every single day. And that's the first step of brave leadership is living into your values, leaning into them in your everyday decision making as a leader. Brave leadership also requires some other things. Brave leadership requires us to show up as emotionally intelligent leaders, emotionally intelligent people and leaders are those who recognize the impact they have on others, not just in work related decisions either. But in every aspect of the way that they model behavior. The way that we carry ourselves away our language and our nonverbal behaviors show trust with our team and in their capabilities in the way we follow through with anything. You may have heard of the Research. So Daniel Goleman is the psychologist who researched emotional intelligence. And it became widely popularized based on his book, but he opened up the conversation for leaders to consider where psychology can inform and drastically improve our leadership. So emotional intelligence, according to Daniel Goleman, which is kind of the founding research is made up of five elements, and they're, they're this self awareness. I'm sure you've heard that before, because that's a big part of the authentic leadership theory that we talked about last week. But self awareness, and self regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. And I say this every week, as I'm talking about these different components, that it would take a whole bunch of other episodes to really dig into these. But if you're interested in this at all, I do want you to go look at his book or dive into it, look for his TED Talk. Because when we move to develop in our emotional intelligence in those five areas, we invite growth and learning and innovation into our teams and our workplaces. And subsequently, increase efficiency and productivity because we're not only more aware of what's going on in the work, and then the the people around us, but we're integrating the skills and strengths and wisdom of everyone at the table because we're honoring them. And we have the awareness and the empathy and the social skills to recognize that. But this is still hard to do and implement because it requires vulnerability. So another part of brave leadership is showing up vulnerably Brene Browns work on vulnerability you may have heard of that. Her work on vulnerability and trust highlights what it means to show up and take profound risks in order to be truly courageous. And so she says that courage and fear are not mutually exclusive. And most of us feel brave and afraid at the exact same time. In fact, her book, dare to lead outlines what it takes to rumble or embrace a challenging situation or conversation. That's what she calls a rumble. The leadership feels easy if you're avoiding conflict if you're avoiding the rumble, but you're likely not leading with any sort of impact if you're skirting the arena where the hard and messy action takes place, right. Brave leaders engage openly and navigate conflict with certainty that they're doing the right thing and showing up courageously, and that that will produce far more meaningful outcomes than avoidance ever could. So brave leaders are leading with empathy and compassion for the people around them. And jumping into the messy. They're also doing the same for the client or customer that they are serving. They're listening. They're rumbling, they're making values based decisions. They're leaning into growth and learning for a more constant cycle of change and transition with their organizations and teams. So Brene teaches rumble starters, which are ways to start the hard, yet productive conversations with people around us. And so, in today's episode, I wanted to share those rumble starters with you so that you can be listening and consider how you might use one to engage in a more curious conversation with a team member or colleague. A conversation where you're showing up open hearted and open minded and willing to listen and ask questions. So I want you to think about how you might use one of these ramble starters. to approach a vulnerable situation or a vulnerable, vulnerable conversation that you need to have and how they might help you listen with compassion. So I'm gonna read through the rumble starters. Okay. Here we go. These are Bearnaise rumble starters. The story I make up. I'm curious about Tell me more. That's not my experience. I'm wondering, helped me understand. Walk me through that. What's your passion around this? Tell me why this doesn't fit or work for you. So today, I want you to consider how you can be a more brave leader for the people around you. And consider how you might use one of those rumble starters in conversation because brave leadership is required in the heart and messy moments with others. Leadership in itself requires us to go first right? Leaders have to step out bravely and confidently, passionately and with conviction. And that's scary. Yes. But then you get to model a curiosity that is so important. For showing others that you are listening, and that you're willing to engage, and that you're willing to be vulnerable. And vulnerability always leads to more trust. And that trust leads to more vulnerability. And so that cycle keeps going through trust, vulnerability, trust vulnerability. And you know it, it just takes leaders who are willing to say, I'll do that. I'll risk it, I'll step out. I'll give it a try, because it'll make me and the people around me better for it. That leader I talked about who made a values based decision in a difficult time. She's a leader who's consistently showing up bravely and courageously. And you know what, when I'm around her that inspires me to step out more bravely in my leadership. So think about the ways that when you show up with bravery, you can inspire others to do the same and give them permission to lean into their values and live those out. Daily to